The Dai Lei and the Judys
by Tirlalaith FantasyComedian
Summary: Lange Faeng's first attempt at hypnotization of women for the good of Ba seng Sae. A short comedy on the Dai Lei and their failed attempts to do Lange Faeng's tryouts and hypnotization.
1. 1st Try and Prologue

1st Try

Prologue~ Lange Faeng's Headquarters

(Lange Faeng is sitting in his office watching the Earth Boar Team vs. the Air Buds in the ultimate Ba Sing Sae Football event on TV. A Dai Lei faithful to Lange Faeng though somewhat lazy comes into his office.)

Dai Lei 1: Sir, we have kidnapped 55 young women just as you ordered. They are ready for transformation.

Lange Faeng: Good.

Dai Lei 1: By the way sir, are you sure that this hypnotization fantasy is going to work?

Lange Faeng: You think it as a fantasy.

Dai Lei 1 hesitating: Well sir…hypnotization is done by experts. We are not expert in the art of hypnotization. Besides, hypnotization is a dream. It never works.

Lange Faeng: You doubt your skills completely?

Dai Lei 1: No sir. It's because I don't have any such skills.

Lange Faeng: Don't worry. You will learn quickly. Now leave me alone and let me watch.

Dai Lei 1: Do you mean...

Lange Faeng: SHUT UP!

Dai Lei 1: Yes Lord Lange Faeng, sir.

(Under Lake Laogai, Dai Lei 5 enters into a stone chamber where there are 55 young women dressed in white and green robes. Dai Lei 5 is there to begin hypnotization.)

Dai Lei 5 beginning hypnotization words: I am Judy.

Woman 1: You're not Judy!

Woman 5: I'm Judy!

Woman 14: You're a man!

Woman 7: What is he talking about?

Dai Lei 5 to Women: Quiet all of you! You will only hear what I want you to hear and you will say only what I want you to say!

(The group of women quiet down and immediately enter into a stage of hypnotization.)

Dai Lei 5 beginning hypnotization words: Now, I am Judy.

Group of Women repeating in unison: Now, I am Judy.

Dai Lei 5: No. You always were Judy.

Group of Women repeating in unison: No. You always were Judy.

Dai Lei 5 growing angry: Stop mocking me!

Group of Women repeating in unison: Stop mocking me!

Dai Lei 5 getting angrier: And don't copy me!

Group of Women repeating in unison: And don't copy me!

Dai Lei 5: I'LL KNOCK THE STUFFING OUT OF YOU IF YOU CONTINUE DOING THIS!

Group of Women repeating in unison: I'LL KNOCK THE STUFFING OUT OF YOU IF YOU CONTINUE DOING THIS!

(Dai Lei 5 cries with anger and pulls a stone cube from the ground and holds it in midair. Group of Women mimic Dai Lei 5's cry and withdraw stone cubes from the ground and hold them in midair, acting out in Earth bending stance. Dai Lei 5 grows cross-eyed and blinks and gulps. A few tense seconds of silence pass between the Dai Lei and the group of women. He then can't bear it any longer and launches the stone cube towards the crowd of women. The crowd of women do the same and launch their stones towards the Dai Lei.)


	2. 2nd Try and Prologue

2nd Try

Prologue~ Lange Faeng's Headquarters

Dai Lei 1: Lord Lange Faeng sir.

Lange Faeng: Yes?

Dai Lei 1 hesitating: Well, it's just uh? Uh?

(Lange Faeng turns from the TV to face the Dai Lei.)

Lange Faeng: Well what? What?

Dai Lei 1: The hypnotization didn't work. The women overcame it.

Lange Faeng: They didn't overcome it! No one overcomes an E.H.P. You and your fools didn't do it right, nit-wit!

Dai Lei 1: What's an E.H.P?

(Lange Faeng rolls his eyes.)

Lange Faeng: Fool! An E.H.P stands for Earth Hypnotization Program!

Dai Lei 1: Duh, I've never heard that acronym before.

Lange Faeng: Of course you have! I've told it to you before!

Dai Lei 1: When?

Lange Faeng: A while ago.

Dai Lei 1: Now?

Lange Faeng: YES NOW!

Dai Lei 1: Now what?

Lange Faeng: Ugh, simpletons!

(Dai Lei 1's eyes lit up in happiness.)

Dai Lei 1: Simpsons? Oh man, that's my favorite TV program!

Lange Faeng: IDIOTS! Get back to work!

(Dai Lei 1 points dumbly to himself.)

Dai Lei 1: But there's only one idiot here.

Lange Faeng: So?

Dai Lei 1: So if you include the letter S at the end of the word "Idiot" then you are referring to both of us as being idiots.

(Lange Faeng gets angry and sends a cloud of dirt into Dai Lei 1's face. He gets blinded and staggers and falls backwards.)

Lange Faeng: Do not correct me in my speech you fool! Now go back there and do your duty. And do not come back here until you have the job done!

Dai Lei 1: But I don't do the job, someone else…

Lange Faeng: OUT!

(Again under Lake Laogai, Dai Lei 9 enters into the same stone chamber where the 55 young women are. Dai Lei 9, who is more experienced then Dai Lei 5, begins hypnotization.)

Dai Lei 9 beginning hypnotization words: I am Judy.

Group of Women repeating in unison: We are Judy.

Dai Lei 9 calmly: No. No. Say, "I am Judy."

Group of Women repeating in unison: I am Judy.

Dai Lei 9 to Women: Welcome to Ba Seng Sae.

Women 13: This isn't Ba Seng Sae! We're in a cave you dope-head!

Women 21: Yeah. And what are you trying to do? Treat us like dummys?

Women 6: Why are we in this place anyway?

Women 3: I want to go home!

Dai Lei 9 calmly: Peace. Focus your eyes on me.

(Group of Women look at Dai Lei 9 and remain quiet. Dai Lei 9 then sends a clear crystal lamp in circles around the room.)

Dai Lei 9 to Women: There is no war outside the walls. There is no such thing as the Fire Nation. Here we are free. Here, we are safe.

(Group of Women go back into hypnotization.)

Group of Women repeating: There is no war outside the walls. There is no such thing as the Fire Nation. Here we are free. Here, we are safe.

Dai Lei 9 murmuring to himself: Good.

Group of Women repeating but murmuring: Good.

Dai Lei 9: Stop that!

(Group of Women remain silent.)

Dai Lei 9: Welcome to Ba Seng Sae.

Group of Women: Welcome to Ba Seng Sae. I will be your tour guide for all your questions and wanderings through the city. Now follow me as I show you to your…

(Hypnotization wears off the group of women and they then start arguing. Women 42 points to woman next to her.)

Woman 42: But I don't want to be doing the same job she's doing!

Woman 29: Yeah. I want to show the new comers my skills at baking.

Woman 34: And mine at acrobatics.

Woman 19: And skirts.

Women 11: And how to make crafts!

Women 2 raising her hand: I'll be tour guide.

(The cacophony of arguments and disagreements starts to pile up and Dai Lei 9 gets impatient.)

Dai Lei 9 to Group of Women: JUDY!

(Group of Women quiet down and look at Dai Lei 9 and go back into standing posture.)

Dai Lei 9 to Group of Women: The King has invited you to Lake Laogai.

Different persons within Group of Women: I want to go! Me too! Hey I thought only one was invited! He said Judy! Well I'm Judy! That doesn't mean you only get to go! I want to come also! I'm a fruity-tooty Judy too!

Dai Lei 9: ENOUGH!

(Stone room shakes and the group of women calm down once more. Dai Lei 9 stares straight into each of the womans' eyes.)

Dai Lei 9: Judy, the King has invited you to Lake Laogai.

(Hypnotization overcomes the minds of the women.)

Group of Women repeating: Judy, the King has invited you to Lake Laogai.

(Accidentally, Dai Lei 9 becomes hypnotized since he was staring into their eyes.)

Dai Lei 9 in hypnotized mind and voice: I am honored by the King's invitation.

Group of Women repeating in hypnotized mind and voice: I am honored by the King's invitation.

Dai Lei 9 in hypnotized mind and voice: Good.

Group of Women repeating in hypnotized mind and voice: Good.


End file.
